Why in the fuck call me at 2am
It’s been two fucking weeks since
You treated me like shit
I don’t know what sick game you’re
Why the fuck call me when you’re high
I have always foolishly romanticized the idea of depression. As if those people with a dark bitter cloud that fogs their existence know something about life that I am missing; that despite their cynical sorrow, they had a key perspective that was worth viewing.
I am a person who lives the whole spectrum of emotions; from the high peaks to the deeps of the seeming abyss. Dramatic is just part of my description. I let myself, for that same reason, “feel it all.” I let my emotions control my life and overwhelm every single one of my thoughts. I think allowing myself to endure those thoughts will allow me to overcome them.
I know I am lucky to not be depressed. Or have a single concrete reason or reasons to be. I just wish the aspect of my personality that keeps making that option look so appealing, didn’t exist. I am stepping down this hole a willing participant.
The best thing that happened to me this month: I took my blanket out of the dryer, ran upstairs and snuggled in the warmth.
My twitter vacation has made me happier. I never realized just how much I went on twitter and how much time of my day it occupied.
So many of my once favorite bands are now painful to listen to :-)
I always let my mind entertain itself with the occasional thought of you.
That one day in the future it will work out, perfectly.
Seems like it may be time for a wake up call.
I really feel like I’m over reacting but I have no one to talk to or any one to tell
Clearly it’s time to become emotionally distant. I dont let people hurt me
Looking back on everything: I feel kind of shitty about how everything happened. I feel like i handled the situation in such an immature fashion, I feel humiliated. I wish i could return the apology you gave me; it’s a bit late for that though.
If only all the good looking Canadians you follow lived in Florida.